turned around 3 times.
i thought i overcame my demons from past relationships. thinking that if they presented themselves again i would know how to manage them. truth is, i found a way to eliminate those demons, i did not however, find a way to manage them. my small attempt at making love an all or nothing kind of deal with no shades of gray. there’s always shades of gray. i didn’t find a solution i found a...
and part of this terrible mess that we're making.
we took alot of time to improve ourselves. we knew we had flaws, we knew we had to change them, we wanted to change them; for us and for those who may love us in the future. so over a years time we make these changes, think we have this whole thing conquered but we got so consumed with the internal that we forgot how to communicate externally. we got used to reading our own minds and being in...
i never thought i'd live to see it break.
getting hurt isn’t even the scariest part, the scariest part is that even after the pain you’ll be convincing yourself you want more. -tbrumm
this is my winter song.
your eyes were big and mouth wide open, looking so full of the feelings you were trying to express but at a loss for words because no words make up for the reality of it all. i will remember your face, my feeling and most of all, the hope. I will hope to forget you all winter long. -tbrumm
your boldness stands alone among the wreck.
Instead of enjoying warm embraces and letting my mind go blank while allowing my heart to take it all in, I find myself questioning why we long for those embraces, what about laying in someones arms feels better than lying alone? What about being trapped in their arms, breathing their recycled breath in a confined space is comforting? Why not wrap up in your comforter, something that you know will...
to the ones i love.
Your problem is you’re too busy holding onto your unworthiness. – Ram Dass
move my lips just so you don't have to.
All i can be is a memory of what you had. A lesson of how you messed up, how you didn’t lose you let go; a reminder that all is fair in war, not love. -tbrumm
“write what is forbidden to you” - molly peacock
if you ask me, i'm ready.
when we know better, we do better and when we know better and don’t, we’re slapping ourselves in the face. ouch. -tbrumm
jump then fall.
I spend a significant amount of time wondering how people live their life without an ego because my ego has been my savior more than a few times; reminding me of things my friends and family couldn’t quite articulate, opening my eyes to see the truth when my insecurity told me to open my ears, listen to the bullshit and allow myself to believe it in hopes to fill some empty space. My ego has...
a swelling rage.
It’s not that I don’t believe in love, quite the contrary. I believe in love so much I avoid it in an attempt to keep control of my life. That’s how powerful it is. I believe love has the power to change your life, it has the power to stimulate parts of your heart and soul you didn’t know existed. I believe love is the cause and effect of all feeling, good and bad. Love...
grace is wasted in your face.
You’re sitting around begging for answers he has already given you. They’re simply not the answers you want. He messed up and then left you. That is his way of telling you he knows how little you think of yourself. You say you want answers but would you honestly feel better if he spelt it out for you and screamed it in your face? He’d just be confirming what you already know. You...
let her cry.
When did it escape you? Did you ever have it? I sure wasn’t born with confidence. I’ve been defeated by love and life and those who were accomplices in my downfall but i got up. I looked in the mirror and promised myself better. Was it your first love? Is it your fathers disregard for your feelings? What event was powerful enough to take your self worth from you? To make you believe...
a halo of patience and a less sporatic pace.
Instead of studying past actions in order to form a hypothesis of what the down fall will be why don’t you study his eyes when he stares at you in silence? why not study his smile to notice it’s triggered by yours? Study the breaths he takes before each sentence and sometimes in between words when telling you how much you mean to him. You’ll notice it’s not hesitation...